6: Oh I Forgot I’d Have to Think of a Title for This Week

Dear Morning People,

I get it now!  Your whole deal, it’s really starting to make sense. Because by not getting up as soon as you need to be online, you can actually begin your day with some kind of… peace? It’s odd because you add time to your day, but it doesn’t feel any longer, just fuller.  

Even knowing that though, I still have a moment in between my alarm going off and opening my eyes where it’s every hardship I described last week. None of that’s changed. The thin line between turning off the alarm and hitting snooze is the reminder that I deserve to take care of myself. That it isn’t something you should feel pressured to do, but honored. 

Now, this doesn’t mean that it’s worked every time. It’s only been seven days since I set this goal and still my success rate isn’t even close to 100%. But the good days are celebrated and the other days just help me understand how good the good ones really are. 

And the self-care is starting to spiral out into other parts of my life. Like it hit me that if I ultimately wanted to add getting dressed every day to my morning ritual, I’d need access to my closet. For those who are confused as to how someone wouldn’t have access to their own closet, allow me to find the words. It’s a lot like the access you have to your mouth when you’re throwing up. Technically you can put something in there, but it’s gonna come right out and when it does, you’re not going to want anything to do with it. With that as our analogy, my closet is in a perpetual state of having just eaten vending machine sushi.

So to accomplish goal one— not spending an entire day in a 15 year old Twilight T-shirt— another goal must be accomplished. It was so strange to find myself forming piles of Keep or Give Away. Clean or Passable. But it had become important to me. It wasn’t organization for organization’s sake, it was for my sake. So now it can be made into a ritual. Find a good audiobook, light a candle or some incense, think of how you want to feel in this space, think of the ease you want to give your future self in the morning, refill your tea, and begin. 

With this shift in perspective, from chore to ritual, everything starts to have a bit of magic to it. 

During my lunch hour one day I cleaned my kitchen because it wasn’t cleaning the kitchen, it was treating my tools, caring for my roost. 

This is the most motivated I’ve felt in a while. Not to get things done necessarily, not to perform any action, but to care for myself in a genuine, nonclinical way. With that in mind, this week I’d like to add getting dressed and doing my hair/make up to the ritual. Or fancifying myself is maybe how I’ll think of it (not married to that terminology, but there will be some kind of sparkle added here). 

Thus I am signing off with purpose and intention!